Self-Promotion Shouldn’t Be Cringeworthy

How do you react to the term “self-promotion”? Does it make you uncomfortable?

As a diversity and inclusion professional, I have only recently begun to fully understand the importance of self-promotion in the workplace and the barriers that exist to developing this skill.

Women and people from underrepresented communities face distinct challenges when practicing self-advocacy. Regardless of your background, self-promotion is important to discuss – either to grow your own skillset or to help you understand why it is a positive attribute.   

Do you hesitate to share recent accomplishments because you’re worried if they’re good enough? While internally debating this, you may be losing opportunities along the way to share smaller wins and build your personal brand. This is where imposter syndrome comes into play, when self-doubt clouds your feelings of belonging and being proficient in your role.

Self-promotion is more than self-serving

The benefits of self-promotion go well beyond the individuals who are sharing their achievements. Self-promotion enables a conversation around skillset and experience that benefits a team and the larger organization. In order to be competitive in the ever-changing market, leaders need to know who is great at what and how each individual can contribute maximum impact to the goals of a company.

When many people self-promote or promote one another, the culture begins to shift – creating psychological safety to share without the fear of backlash. One tactic to contribute to this shift is creating a dialogue with your own self-promotion. After sharing an accomplishment with someone, ask them about a milestone they are striving to hit. You can also bring others along with your own self-promotion. For example, sharing a big win you’ve accomplished and thanking those who contributed to the success.

Don’t get caught in the humble brag trap

While many of us want to share our accomplishments but don’t want to be perceived as conceited, the humble brag has been the ‘go-to’ option, especially on social media. Celebrities can be some of the most visible culprits when it comes to the humble brag. Take Kim Kardashian for example. In 2015 she tweeted “Apple, so sorry I broke your app store” after launching Kimojis. Was she really sorry? No, she wanted to show her influence and create a dialogue about the ridiculously high Kimoji download volume. Given the cultural popularity for the humble brag, you may be tempted to follow this example. After all, it sounds good on the surface -- a little self-promotion mixed with humility. But research has found that the humble brag consistently warrants a negative response. Why? Because it isn’t seen as sincere. I share this because you’ll get a better reaction from people if you are honest with your self-promotion rather than trying to slide it into a conversation disguised as something else.

Women have a tougher time self-promoting

In a study conducted by New York University, researchers asked subjects to assess how a group of men and women performed on a joint task. The findings were definitive, unless the researchers explicitly provided information about the women’s excellent contributions or strong past performance, the subjects deemed the women to be less competent, less influential, and less likely to have played a leadership role than their male peers, regardless of their actual contributions. This study showcases the issue that accomplishments do not always speak for themselves. We must be deliberate in what we share and how we share it.

What complicates this matter even more is that both men and women don’t like other women that self-promote. Not only do we need to be aware of how we are showing up, we need to be conscious of how we are reacting to others when they promote themselves. This is a mindset change. Instead of internally rolling our eyes, we need to actively celebrate others, especially women.

Self-promotion is uncomfortable, but it’s necessary

Self-promotion is a topic we don’t usually talk much about, but research suggests it’s crucial to succeeding in the workplace. Applicants who talk opening and confidently about their achievements are more likely to be hired than more modest candidates – even in countries where self-promotion is frowned upon! I started my HR career as a Recruiter and something I regularly saw were candidates using “we” to describe their accomplishments. Although they may consciously or unconsciously be doing this to show teamwork and collaboration, it can also create uncertainty for the interviewer. It is important to use “I” statements that showcase what you’ve accomplished and contributed even if it rolls up to a “we” statement. For example, we launched a large campaign and I contributed the internal communication strategy, which helped create employee visibility. This is a form of self-promotion.

Be aware of bias

Unconscious bias plays a major role in how self-promotion is received. The same verbiage and tone may be used by two individuals, but the reaction can be completely different based on who is self-promoting. Unconscious bias sounds negative, but it is only negative when it goes unchecked. If you are having a negative reaction to the self-promotion of someone, take a step back and give yourself time to consider why. Would you still feel this way regardless of a person’s age, gender, ethnicity, etc.? Unconscious bias is our gut reaction, so the best way to ensure it doesn’t affect your perception is to take additional time to process the situation.

Regardless of who we are or where we’re from, we all have acquired stereotypes of some type. I am small, blond, and have a higher-pitched voice, and as a result, I’m often mistaken for being younger and more junior in my career than I actually am. Just last week I was mistaken for a college student at a breakfast for Diversity & Inclusion leaders, like myself, to discuss diverse talent pools in higher education. We can’t always control how others see us, but we can all work to keep our biases from mistaken assumptions in check.

Build your own self-promotion skillset

The celebration of International Women’s Day is an opportune time to grow your own self-promotion skills and to create space for others to share what makes them great.

1. Reflect on what makes you unique and what you’re proud of. This is your material to self-promote.
2. Like any skill, self-promotion takes practice. Establish a peer-mentor relationship or try it out with those you are comfortable with.
3. Think about opportunities you can utilize for self-promotion – team meetings, meetings with your manager, or social media.
4. If someone sends you a ‘thank you’ or ‘job well done’ e-mail, forward it on to your leadership. Show the impact you’re making!
5. Promote others and their achievements to contribute to a culture of promotion that is free of backlash.

Self-promotion can be uncomfortable, give you butterflies in your stomach and cause your hands to sweat. But with practice comes a point when sharing achievements are no longer cringeworthy – just worthy.